a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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