I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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