Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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