u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
