He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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