Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
