in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
