I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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