Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize