Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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