So gin and wine won't be happening again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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