i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
