She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
