i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
