my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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