why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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