I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
