when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
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gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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