how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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