i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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