I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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