remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
