So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
