I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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