so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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