im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
they need to just BURY HIM!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
