I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
