can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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