Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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