No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
