Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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