Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
