Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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