Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I looked at my own cervix.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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