Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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