I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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