as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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