he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize