return my video game
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
