u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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