He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Randomize
