I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
