I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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