Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
