Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
