I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
