the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
