by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
