Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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