Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
