Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
