im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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