she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
