the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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