no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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