I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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