anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize