i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
