**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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