I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
