he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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