The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
