I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His hands were made for my vagina.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
