I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
